Bloglovin on My Brand New Blog

So I have some good and BIG news to share with you...

After almost a year of not feeling comfortable in my own blogging skin, I have finally taken the leap and created a new blog title and am still working on a new look.

I feel like "Foto Friendly Family" just sounded like a family blog title, which was it's original intent...so that makes sense.  But since Dec 2011, I have grown a lot in my blogging interests and style.  I felt like I wanted a title that had more to do with me as a person, as a whole, than all family oriented.  Now of course I will be blogging about my family life here too.  Because that's a HUGE part of "me", but I needed to get away from just the family blog title.

Then Creating Cassie was born. :)

So please grab my new blog button and subscribe to receive updates via email along the right sidebar.  You can also follow me on BlogLovin by clicking the link below.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Thanks for sticking with my through all my changes and look forward to see you in my future!

On Board With Bloglovin

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Trying to finally get on board with Bloglovin, since Google Reader is no longer available.

That is...if I have any followers left!  Haha!  Oh I hope I do!  I'm back, I'm back!

XOXO

A Day For Crying

I turn my head away, tears falling from my face.

I gather myself and stare down in my arms to my sleeping baby.

I don't want her to see me cry.

I don't want her to feel mommy's sadness.

I wipe away my tears and try to smile.

She is so beautiful.

Her innocence makes me smile.

I am so thankful that I am able to hold, touch and breathe her.

As she slowly begins to wake, I quickly dry my eyes.

I turn her around so she's facing me and give her a big hug.

I start to cry again.

"I love you", I say to her.  There is no doubt about that.

I know that if she could speak, she would tell me that she loved me back.

Oh how I cannot wait to hear those words from her tiny mouth.

Her hugs, kisses and smiles shows me that she loves me.

I set her down to walk and head for the kitchen.

My sleeve is soaked in salty tears.

My eyes are sore and bloodshot.

I listen for her in the living room.

She is just smiling and gabbing away.

I start to think.

I start to cry again.

I wish that life didn't have to be so hard and sometimes painful.

I hate that selfish, foolish acts take place every day on this earth.

I hate that my daughter is placed in a world that's so cold, but in a home that's so warm.

I hate that young, innocent lives were taken and just days before Christmas.

I hate the thought of those parents not being able to tuck their babies in at night.

I hate that I'm crying.

I remind myself that I am human with a big heart and it's okay to cry and empathize.

I head back toward the living area.

I scoop her up and step toward the hallway.

There we meet her daddy.

We join each other and embrace a long and needed hug.

Just us three.

Perfection.

My physical world is in my arms for that tender loving moment.

On days when I feel like I am crumbling, my family holds me together.

My flowing tears are shed for those poor people whose lives were cut short.

My dried tears remind me that I am so lucky to have my family here with me.


My thoughts and prayers go to the families who were affected by the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting last week.

*Images from Google Images

Feeling The Love For Votes

As you may know, in addition to trying to catch up on NaBloPoMo for this month, I have also been campaigning for votes to be in the top 25 of Family Blogs by Moms of 2012 through Circle Of Moms.

I was nominated earlier this month by a very sweet anonymous person (again, whoever you are, THANK YOU!).

As my second to last post for the month, I am using this post to promote votes for my blog!  Please go to this site and click vote.  I would really love to win this award and have a sparkly new badge for my blog to display.

You can also click this badge to see what place I'm currently in!  Voting ends tonight at 4pm PST!



Thank you to all of my family, friends, and blogging buddies for all of your daily votes and for recruiting more votes, as this means so much to me coming up on my one year Blogger-versary!

Love to you all!

Technically Not A First Christmas

Our First Christmas as a Family's Ornaments

Technically it's not Annaliese's first Christmas.

She was a young 2 1/2 month old when Christmas came around last year.  Justin and I had intentions of decorating the house and putting up a tree because we were excited for Christmas as a new family of three.  But sadly, as you know, because of my father in law passing away on December 15th, we no longer had the Christmas spirit left in us to do any bit of decorating or wrapping, or singing or baking.  We just wanted to sit and cry together as a family.  There were no pictures taken other than Annaliese in her Christmas PJs on that Christmas day.

Annaliese in her Christmas PJs on Christmas Day

THIS YEAR is a whole new world for Annaliese.  Justin and I are excited about Christmas this year.  We've already begun playing Christmas music, we have put up our Christmas tree and decorated it with loving ornaments from Justin and I's childhood, we've hung our stockings, we've watched Christmas classics like Charlie Brown Christmas and Muppets Christmas Carol, and soon, I'll be whipping up some yummy cookies to hand out to the family.

Justin and I's First Christmas ornaments

Very intrigued by the lights

"Our First Christmas" ornament from 2010

Sammie enjoying the Christmas tree

Annaliese's first Christmas ornament next to one of daddy's guitar ornaments

I can't wait to take many many pictures and videos of this "First" Christmas with our (will be) 14 1/2 month old.  She will be so spoiled by her parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles that we may need a bigger toy box after this ;)

Cassie, The Independent Consultant?

Hello everyone!  Please take a seat.  

My name is Cassie and I am your independent consultant for today.

Thank you for having me in your beautiful home with delicious snacks and beverages to indulge in while I share with you the reasons you should buy the products I represent.


Does this sound like me?  It could, I guess.  Lately, it's been weighing on my mind heavily whether or not it is me.

After Annaliese's birthday party in October, Justin and I decided that if we wanted to stay on track to buy a house next year, that it would be best if I went back to work.  *Boooooooooo!*
Buying a home is a huge deal and it's been a goal of Justin and I's since we got married.  Little did we know that it was in God's plan for us to have a baby before buying a house...which we're okay with.  ;)
I know, I know...  Going back to work is not the worst thing in the world.  I guess I just didn't see myself going back to work until after we were done having kids and possibly even after I finished school.  But as you know every household is more financially stable with 2 incomes, so a mommy has to do what a mommy has to do.

So with that being said, I have been on the hunt keeping in mind our 2 options.  I could go back to work part time in the evenings and weekends and make a couple hundred dollars a month extra, still stay at home with Annaliese during the day, and lose our family evening and weekend time OR I could go back to work full time Monday - Friday making a decent amount of money, take Annaliese to a babysitter, and pay a small fortune for daycare while trusting someone else to help discipline and raise my child while mommy and daddy are at work.  UGH!  Both options sound hard to swallow, especially after being a stay at home mom for almost 14 months.  I have applied for a few part time evening jobs prior to Black Friday and played phone tag with people for weeks.  Then I started applying to my old employer hoping to get a full time job there, but so far no luck.

However lately I have been wondering about becoming an independent consultant.  You know, those people (usually women) who sell Avon, Pampered Chef, Longaberger, Tastefully Simple, Mary Kay, Thirty-One, Scentsy, Tupperware, Lia Sophia ...just to name a few.  Ahem.  The sad part is, I know someone who sells each and every one of the brands I just mentioned.  My sister in law, Jenn, just began selling Thirty-One.  Click here to check out her website and contact her with any questions you may have about their fun and stylish products.  AND while I'm here, my mother,Teena, sells Lia Sophia Jewelry (which I LOVE).  Click here to go to her website and see if any of their stuff catches your eye.  Both Thirty-One and Lia Sophia always have awesome monthly specials!  I own a lot of both!  What girl doesn't love bags and jewelry?!

So why turn to sales?  Well I have never considered myself to be a sales person before.  In fact, I am not good at all at pushing a product down someone's throat and convincing them to pay top dollar for my product because it's the best.  Well then again I have never tried to.  I have been considering it because I know there are so many 'women' out there who sell this stuff and make a good living from it.  I know it's hard work, I know a lot of it is networking (which I'm becoming better at), but I am passionate about some of these brands and have used them for years and I believe that I could learn to be a good sales person.  Plus I would get to make my own schedule!

I think it would also benefit me by allowing me to work on my public speaking skills.  I have always had stage freight, but did really well in speech class (finished with an "A", thank you very much) probably more so because I HAD to in order to graduate.  This also applies to me when my friends like to write down a song to sing at Karaoke Night, and to my surprise when my name is announced, I can't possibly back down now, so I sing, and I do really well.  I guess it's that initial believing in yourself that I have an issue with...

Being a direct seller/independent consultant isn't your typical "work from home" job, because with the title, comes a lot of travel (depending).  I think that it would be a great thing for me to get out of the house more (other than my weekly trip to Target) and meet new people.  I love meeting new people!  I have always been very friendly and always had many friends and acquaintances so I think a job like this would allow me to take advantage of being physically social again.

Anyway, my head has been spinning about this for weeks now.  I have chatted with some friends that sell products, had conversations with "strangers" on Twitter about it, and even met with some over coffee to talk about it.  I think I have made my decision, but I want to ask you first.

Have you (or someone you know) ever sold a product as an independent consultant?  If so, how did you fair?  Did you enjoy it and all of the benefits?  Or did you not feel that the squeeze was worth the juice?

Still pondering...

The Hard Part About Holidays

Holidays are typically classified as "The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year", and I agree.

I love the holidays!  It makes me feel like a kid again!  I love the Christmas lights!  I love wrapping presents!  I love baking cookies!  Most of all I love spending the whole day listening to holiday music and spending time with my family.

But as you know, sometimes the holidays aren't so happy.  Actually I'm almost certain that most all of us wish that we could share the holidays with someone who isn't here anymore.  Maybe it's someone who lives far away.  Maybe it's someone who is now in Heaven.  Maybe it's someone who lives close by, but you no longer talk to them.  This makes the holidays, in a sense...dreary.

It's hard to keep a happy face when you want just one room full of the tens of hundreds of people who were/are in your life to be under one roof, where you can kiss and hug them all.  Like for example, our wedding day.  I will always remember how I felt that day.  Almost 100 of our closest friends and family members came to share in our celebration and it meant the world to me.  Having family and friends travel from the scattered states New Jersey, Illinois, Tennessee, Florida and Colorado meant so, so much to me.  I had never been so touched and felt so loved in all my life.  If I could go back to that day, I would give my Yiayia and my father-in-law, Ron, just one more hug.

The holidays will never be the same without them here.  I know that death is a part of life and that they are in heaven which is the utmost majestic and gorgeous place to be, but it's only natural that we want them here...with us.

Last year I felt so robbed of the happiness of having a newborn with losing 2 close family members within the first 2 months of Annaliese's life.  This year, although they will be terribly missed, we do have things to look forward to like Annaliese being able to (maybe) unwrap her own gifts.  She will be interactive with us by walking around and playing with her new toys.  I cannot wait for this to happen and I am so excited this year for Christmas!

...but there's still that part of me that is down...and knows that this year will be especially hard for my mother in law and for Justin and his brother.

The best we can do is carry on and keep the deceased's memory alive.  That is, after all, what they would want us to do.  And for the people who are still here on earth and can't be with you for the holidays, give them a call, tell them how much you love and miss them.  Holidays are and always were about family, about love.

Happy Holidays! 

Shades of Black Friday

[This may seem weird that my posts are coming through “late” with a date that has already taken place days ago, but this is my attempt at still participating in NaBloPoMo and having 30 posts for the 30 days of the month!]

Anyhow…

Black Friday.  I have participated in the-day-after-Thanksgiving-chaos many times in the past and had fun doing so, but this year, I was almost insulted.  I’ll explain.

2 years ago I believe was my last time out.  Ate a huge Thanksgiving dinner, took a nap for a few hours and by midnight I was at the outlets with a friend.  We joined hundreds of other crazies, all in lines waiting for the stores to open the flood gates so we can all pour in.  I think we shopped till 7 or 8am.  I drove home with my bags of marked down items and was on a natural high for a week!  I had gotten most of my Christmas shopping done all in one day and only spent $XXX this amount is disguised as my husband is STILL trying to find out how much I spent (hehehe-just kidding).  Made it home and slept for the day...well most of it.

For years I have found that opening up at midnight was perfect.  It was "technically" Black Friday, if you ate Thanksgiving dinner by 3, or even 5 or 6 you could still get in a good nap before heading out to the shopping madness, you could still sit at the table and listen to Aunt Ethel listen to her childhood stories and watch the late football game.  You could even have dessert!  MMMMM, pie!

This year, many stores opened ON Thanksgiving.  Some stores at 6, 7, 8pm!  What happened to the Holiday?  What happened to spending nice quiet (sometimes not so quiet) quality time with family?  What happened to eating dessert!?  I have a hard time believing that all of those people finished their meal with dessert before they were out the door and ready to stand in line for hours!  Pfffft!  

In my opinion, I believe Thanksgiving is for family gatherings and expressing what you are thankful for and Black Friday is for shopping.  Period.  Keeping the two separate is what we need to keep society grounded, keep family values in play.  Suddenly holidays are more about shopping shopping, shopping and less about family, friends and love.  How will our children ever learn the real meaning of Thanksgiving and of Christmas when media and advertisements are being shoved down their throats?

Then I came across this quote and it just hit the nail right on the head!

Something Is Missing...

I can't help but have this feeling that something is missing.

Someone is missing.

This Thanksgiving will be hard for our family because it is the first Thanksgiving without my father in law, Ron.  For the past 6 years of my life, he was there...

It already doesn't feel like it's been almost a year since we have not had his jokes, his words, his presence around us.  I remember a year ago on Thanksgiving, we had dinner over at Justin's aunt and uncle's house.  Ron was very weak and didn't feel well.  We, of course, had Annaliese with us and because she was still pretty new, everyone in the family wanted to hold her.  Ron was nervous to hold his granddaughter, but Justin's cousin Angie, placed her in his arms as if almost forcing him to hold her.  He stared down at her for about a minute as she slept peacefully, despite being passed around between family members.

That was the last time he was able to hold his one and only grandchild.

I wish this wasn't the case.  I wish we could have him back here, on earth to join us for Thanksgiving dinner once again.  I know he's in the best place there is to be, heaven.  He will be missed, as he is every single day.

We are thankful for the years that we had with him, and the few precious moments that we were able to see him enjoy his grand baby.  Those moments are the ones we will tell Annaliese about.  About how Ron was so weak and frail that he didn't want to hold her in fear of hurting her by not supporting her body well enough with the little strength he had.  But he was brave and welcomed her with opened arms to take in the few small moments he had with her.  She was his peace.

This Thanksgiving we are all so thankful of so much.  Especially the little things...the small precious moments.  The moments of pure joy and love.  That is what Thanksgiving is all about.  Being thankful for the love of family and of friends and the enormous strength you have when you come together and bond.

Being thankful comes easy to those who realize their blessings everyday.

Be thankful.

Be blessed.

Picture taken and edited by my sister in law, Jenn

Thank You, Justin

In light of Thanksgiving coming up, I tend to reflect on everything and everyone I am thankful for in my life.  I do take daily moments to be thankful, but around Thanksgiving, being among everyone who

Well this post is dedicated to my husband.  My life partner.  My best friend.  My heart.

Justin,

Thank you for always, always supporting me.  Ever since I met you, you have always stuck up for me and have supported me in decisions I have made and helped me weigh out the good and bad.  I have always said that I like that you're so analytical  and I still do.

Thank you for being a terrific father to our beautiful, growing daughter.  You are so good to her and I fall in love with you over and over again every day when I see you walk with her and read to her.  I would be so lost without you both.

Thank you for taking care of me at my worst and encouraging me at my best.  You always show me that you are selfless and always, always have mine and Annaliese's best interests at hand.  I see the sacrifices you make every day for us, and I want to tell you I appreciate them all.

Thank you for the little things.  Cooking breakfasts and dinners, mowing the lawn for the last 4 1/2 years, for dealing with the landlords and paying rent, for taking care of us all financially, for running to the store just because I had a craving for eggnog.  AND for signing up for ballroom dance lessons with me (SOON).  You're so sweet and I know how lucky I am to have found you.

I love you more than words will ever say and I know that the best is yet to come.  I look forward to growing old with you by my side, laughing at the inside jokes we have and STILL chasing each other around the house.  :)  You are my one and only love.

Love,
Me

By the way, this conversation happened today.

Me: I love you honey, you're the best
Justin: hmmm, ok
Me: No, you really are
Justin:  Ok, I'm not disagreeing with you

:)  I love this man.

~See, it wasn't too sappy, was it?

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

Sometimes I get in a funk...

Sometimes I need to remind myself of all of the things that once made me smile...

Although I am thankful to have experienced these things that have given me so many smiles and natural highs, this is not a list of the things I am solely thankful for.

This is just a list of things that make me happy :)


Pedicures

Hugs and Kisses

Dancing

Watching musicals (The Newsies, Jesus Christ Super Star, Hairspray, RENT, Grease, West Side Story, Annie)

Roller coasters

Receiving kisses from my daughter

Singing along to music I grew up to

Having a good hair day

Going to visit my family in NJ

Christmas music, decorating the Christmas tree, Christmas Eve candlelight church service

Hitting a really good sale

Donating money to charities

Old Disney movies

Receiving a greeting card the old fashioned way (snail mail)

That moment when you go to a music concert and you feel like you have a special connection with the artist

Parades

Baking

Swimming in the ocean

Freshly shaved legs

That moment when a new baby wraps it's hand around your finger

Receiving flowers


These are all things, in no particular order that make me smile.

12 Month Checkup and A Bad Experience

Annaliese had her 12 month checkup last week!  She weighs 21.5 lbs and was 29 1/2" long (both in the 50 percentile).  It's hard to believe that she was born at just under 6 lbs.  I look at her and I feel like I'm always in amazement.  Does this feeling ever end??  She also had to get 3 shots this time, which she was really less than thrilled about.  Hepatitis B, Chickenpox and Flu shot.  She cried like crazy during the shots (man, I hate that part) but after lots of mommy and daddy hugs and kisses, we had her laughing before we left the doctor office again. :)

Anyway, there was a problem.  We didn't have a very pleasant visit to the doctor this time.  I'll explain.  Our pediatrician is an older gentleman, probably late 50s, early 60s, and he's always pushing a wheeled office chair into the room as he enters.  This time, he did just the same.  He came in, greeted us and proceeded to tell us that he was going to be out of the office soon for back surgery.  He looked as if he was struggling to think of and tell us what months he would be out and took awhile to give us the verdict.  Never advised if there was a replacement doctor or what we should do in case we needed medical care in his absence.  Weird.

He asked if we had any questions.  We asked how much whole milk she should get a day.  We asked about the little birth mark on her back.  We asked a few additional questions.  As he answered our questions, he stuttered,  he slurred, didn't really give us any answer other than "I don't know" or "I'm not sure" and then preceded to jokingly tell us that our questions were hard.  Not cool.  Then asked if we had any other questions before he went on to give our daughter her physical exam.  I told him we did, and went to grab my phone (where I document all things I'm liable to forget) and while searching for the questions I had written down, I look up...and doc is straight up NODDING OFF!  Eyes closing.  Mouth opened.  Head falling forward.  I looked at Justin and gave him the "WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!" look.  I looked at the doctor, trying to purposely startle him and said "Hey doc!  Are you okay over there?"  He said, "oh, yes.  I'm so sorry.  I'm just really tired."  He took a deep breath and resumed on somewhat of an auto pilot.

Sorry kids, but that doesn't fly in my book.  If you are a medical professional and are that "tired", then you need to cancel your appointments for the day and stay home.  In my personal opinion, I believe that he may have been on some pain relievers for his back (possibly why he mentioned that he would be needing surgery) and was just having a bad day.  I completely understand.  Everyone is allowed to have a bad day, even doctors.  But when I heard that man slurring his words to me and saw that man start to nod off in front of me, the "Mama Bear" came out in me and he's lucky he didn't get an ear full, with a threat to call the Board of Health as I was exiting his office and not paying the co pay I was obligated to pay.

I bit my tongue and kept giving Justin some gnarly looks, I'm sure.  It was impossible for me to take anything he had told us seriously after that.  It was hard to watch him do his regular checkup check list with Annaliese after that.  Watching him check her mouth, ears, nose, joints, hips...even though she wasn't fussing over it, I felt like he was torturing her (which was not the case).  After everything was done and we got a healthy report, he wheeled his office chair out of the room and I was never so happy to see him leave.  The nurse walked in shortly after and gave Annaliese her shots, but still after all of those needles, I still felt like the doctor had done more damage to her than the nurse did.

I think it's safe to say that doctor visit did more damage to me than my daughter.  We are on the hunt for finding a new pediatrician.  I never thought I would ever experience that in my my life.  I just know in my heart that what happened wasn't right and no parent should have to tolerate that.  After "venting" to my friends on Facebook, I've come to learn that this is not the first time this has happened with that doctor.  I believe that he needs to hang up his coat and maybe think about retiring from that field.  Just my opinion.

But all in all, I am just glad that Annaliese is a strong and healthy baby.  That is all I have ever hoped for and I thank God every day for blessing her with a healthy body.  :)

Roses For My Travels - A Poem

I've mentioned before that I used to write a lot of poetry when I was younger.  I can attribute this to my 9th grade English teacher, Mrs Leitner.  It was then that I learned the works of Shakespeare and became inspired to do some soul searching and bring my feelings of my past and my present (at that time) to the surface.

This is a poem I wrote when I was about 14 or 15.

Roses For My Travels

The story of my life 

Torn between worlds 

Having what you may want 

And wanting what you may have 

The less I understand 

The more I want to learn 

About life and new beginnings 

The way life should feel 

For a young adult, as I am 

Problems from changes 

And changes from problems 

It all leads to happiness 

Somewhere down the road 

Though my silence is getting too loud 

My heart is aching 

From time less spent 

Thinking about how I want to walk slowly 

Down this road of life 

And enjoy every moment 

And look around at all the scenery 

I have let pass me by 

"Life is too short," everyone says, 

"Enjoy it while it's still here" 

"Happiness is the key to success"

Live life and be happy 

Nothing is set in stone 

For life is unpredictable, just as it has always been 

Just as it always will be 

Learning to "stop and smell the roses" 

Comes harder for some people 

I would just like to stop and pick a rose, 

Carry it with me through time 

Through the winding roads of life's travels 

And stop a few miles down the road and pick another rose 

And another...as a memory; a keepsake

For all the moments in my life 

Where I was happy and content 

And by the time my roads have ended 

And my travels and explorations are over, 

I will be left with a beautiful bouquet of roses 

And never will they die 

They will just come with me into the light of day 

To a new world; Heaven 

So I could look down upon others 

And admire their beautiful bouquets of roses, 

Handed to themselves by their own success... 

Their happiness.

This poem was my way of healing through my parent's divorce.  I hated feeling torn between the two of my parents.  I was beginning to learn that some people just aren't meant to stay together even when kids are involved.  I began to understand that life is an incredible journey and you have to make the most of the moment you're in and do whatever you have to do to be happy.

Blogging On Empty

So tired.

Only on day 9 of #NaBloPoMo and part of me wishes I didn't begin this challenge because I don't find productive time during the day to start and finish a blog post, so I'm left getting a post in minutes before midnight.  BUT part of me really really enjoys this writing thing every day and I am proud of the days that have come and gone behind me with a daily stamp in them...but still it's hard.

Especially when you're tired.



Especially with a crying baby at 11pm...



For now, I'm going to consider this as a pitiful post and try for a real post tomorrow.



For now, I blog you goodnight.

Words

Photo Credit

Words.

Supportive.

Understanding.

Scattered.

Forgiving.

Embarrassing.

Healing.

Encouraging.

Feeling.

Becoming.

No matter the instance, sometimes you just have to get the words out.  Not knowing the words to say on how to speak your mind is a hard thing to swallow.  Sometimes I feel like words are stuck in my head and I can't get them out.  I can't tell people how I feel because I can't explain it.  I can't find the words to express the feelings I have.  It has to be one of the most frustrating things in the world for me.  I feel that I am a pretty  well educated woman.  I probably could have paid more attention in English class many times, but for the most part I'll give myself some credit.  I think my biggest problem with writing is that I don't know the words.  I feel ignorant.  I feel as though some of the not so good choices I have made in the past have prohibited me from consuming everything I was taught in life and in school and it hinders me.  Maybe if I were better able to express myself, people would be better able to understand me?

Words.

Thinking.

Consuming.

Searching.

Finding.

Learning.

Accepting.

Changing.

Growing.

Becoming.

Why, Thank You

Today, is 7th day of the month, which is also the 7th day into #NaBloPoMo and today I don't have enough steam to continue on and NOT use a given writing prompt for the day.  So to inspire this post, I have turned to the list of daily prompts and today's topic is : Talk about the last compliment you received.

I'm lucky enough to receive compliments every day from my sweet loving husband.  Everyday he tells me I'm beautiful, which is so kind.  Even on days when I don't feel pretty ,he tries his best to show me how pretty I am.  I appreciate the effort.  But the last compliment I received to date actually came from both my mom and dad, just a day apart from each other...

You are a wonderful mother.

Justin tells me this very frequently also.  This compliment may just be the best compliment that anyone has ever given me, and probably ever will.  Of all the things in life that I have done with pride, being a great mommy is the one that I strive for the most.  The fact that a life is relying on me to physically care for her, mentally care for her, and raise her to be a good little person is a tough job.  To be told that I am wonderful at doing just that...just puts me on cloud 9!  I've been told that I am a wonderful mother by many people and you know what, I believe them.  It's the only compliment I'll always keep in my heart and remember for a rainy day...or when I'm arguing with a teenager who didn't come home for curfew.  

I believe that I am a good mom.  I have lost many MANY nights of sleep to try to calm Annaliese to sleep.  I wake up with her at night because I am on "night duty" while I try my best to let my full time working husband get his rest.  I try to get her on a sleeping and eating schedule during the day so she would sleep better at night.  I take her to play dates and lunch dates with friends so that she has social interaction with other children.  When the weather is nice, I take her for walks so she can get fresh air and gaze at nature that she loves so much.  I read her stories at night and play dolls with her during the day.  I try to be supportive when her feelings are hurt because she fell when she was trying to walk.  I sing to her when she is upset and usually somehow it calms her down.  I try to teach her what the farm animals say when I sing "Old MacDonald" and she sweetly tries to mock me.  I also try to teach her what is acceptable to do and touch and what is not...such as the cat food.  Not a play toy.

I feel a very strong bond with my daughter and I wouldn't trade that feeling for the world.  Even at her young age of almost 13 months old, I believe that every day our bond gets stronger.  I know how blessed I am to have been given the gift of motherhood to a happy and healthy daughter.  She makes it easy for me to receive such a grand and meaningful compliment.  I would do anything for her best interest.  I will always do anything in my power to protect her when needed and console her heart from a difficult life lesson.  I would lay down my life for her and not even think twice about it.  This is unconditional love.

So you know what mom and dad, thank you.  Thank you for recently reminding me that I'm doing a good job in raising my little girl.  It means a lot to me that you, especially both of you, have verbally expressed this to me.  I hope to continue to make you proud and most of all continue to do the best that I can at being a wonderful mother to a precious little person who deserves the world.

In case you missed my post the other day, here is a picture of my little girl holding my favorite childhood toy/stuffed animal, "Re".  :)  My heart is so warm and fuzzy looking at this picture.

iVoted

Today, November 6, 2012 is Election Day.

Today I voted.

As a female American citizen, I exercised my right and privilege to vote.

And it felt good.

I only had to wait in the M-Z line for about 15 minutes until it was my turn to show my photo ID and receive my ballot.  The election poll aids were searching for my name....searching....S-K-I...nope!  I wasn't listed.  I started to slightly panic.  I was really excited to vote, and this being my first time voting at this polling location AND being the first time voting under my married name, I pretty much expected that there would be some issue.  I was right.

The nice elderly lady attending the A-L line overheard my slight dilemma and asked me what my maiden name was.  I told her, she looked and she found me in the A-L list.  So to the end of the A-L line I went.  I waited another 15 minutes (not complaining here, 15 minutes isn't bad at all) and when asked my name, I gave my maiden name.  I was handed my ballot, walked toward  a vacant booth and closed the curtain behind me.

I stood and thought about how important my vote is; my voice, especially this year.

Of course we, as people, live with a plan.  We're always planning for the future in some way or another.  When I voted today, I didn't just think of my future, my future with my husband, but I thought of my daughter's future.  I've always been conscious of the fact that my vote and our president would make a huge impact on our country and it's future.  I've always been aware that the history we make today will affect "our children and our children's children".  I was never able to have the heartfelt feeling of actually contributing to "our children" until today, because it directly affects me now, because I have a child who will be affected by this history we will make and will one day cast her own vote.

Having these thoughts at the poll and walking home from the poll (we live very close to our polling location), I had a new sense of pride that came over me.  I knew that I had made a difference, even in my own mind, because I voted.

Did you rock the vote?

My Baby's Teddy Bear

Annaliese has a teddy bear that she received for Christmas last year from my aunt and uncle (her great Aunt and Uncle).   Even as a little 3 month old baby, she always loved the way that the teddy felt.  It's soft furry back, plush head and silk "belly" blanket leaves her feeling safe and secure.

3 months old with teddy

She sleeps with Teddy every night.  Her eyes light up when she sees her teddy.  We even bribe her to walk to us by holding Teddy.  This works only half of the time...  

We've found it.  The security toy/animal/blanket that this little girl will most likely invite to all of her tea parties, play dress up with, and drag around with for years to come.  It reminds me of part in the movie Mr. Mom where the little boy had a small anxiety attack when his dad asked him to give up his "Woobie" (or blankie).

Here's a clip from the movie where dad (played by Michael Keaton) is convincing his son why he needs to give up his "Woobie".

I had a security toy/animal when I was a baby too.  How I came to know this story was my dad had won my mom a little stuffed raccoon at a carnival.  He gave it to her and said that this is for our little baby.  Of course back then they didn't know if I was a boy or a girl yet because technology wasn't advanced enough yet.  So the day I was born I was given a little stuffed raccoon.  It slept in the crib with me.  It was my best friend.

Funny side story- One night, when I was about 2 years old asleep in my crib, my parents heard some noise outside my opened window.  They closed the window and went back to sleep as I was okay and unharmed.  The next morning, as my dad went to go take the trash out to the trash cans, which happened to be outside my window, he saw my little raccoon sitting on top of the trash can.  My dad found this to be hilarious...my mom, not so much.  ;)

This is what my raccoon looks like today.  I named him "Re" when I was a kid.  My mom says I named him after trying to say my middle name "Marie"...I guess I just ended up with "Re" for short.  He used to be a lot thicker...OK, actually he used to be a completely different raccoon.  I think after me having him so long and him taking a slight kid-friendly beating, my mom had to completely remake Re...(maybe that's why his name is Re, for Remake...) Anyway, my talented mother created this raccoon I think when I was around 2 or 3.  I think she did pretty darn good, except he is a little non symmetrical.  ;)  Also his eyes are scratched up, his fur is non existent and you can almost see his stuffing, his mouth is almost gone, his tail is almost falling off, and he's pretty flat.  But he's my Re and I've always been very protective of him.  When my brother and I would fight as kids, he knew that the best way to get to me was to hide Re or take him "hostage" (we were a little cruel to each other - I guess that's normal)  ;)

Present Day "Re"

Since Justin and I found out we were going to have a baby and had put together a nursery, I placed Re on a shelf overlooking the crib.  It may sound funny or even ridiculous, but this little stuffed animal has been the only constant thing in my childhood.  Through moving across country and back and my parents divorce he was my constant friend and tear-catcher.  I told myself a long time ago that I would give him to my first born, so when Annaliese is old enough to understand, I will give him to her and tell her the story of how I was given him and why he stayed with me through life.  I hope Re is as special to her, as he is to me.  Re and Teddy will be lifelong friends.  :)

Do you have a stuffed animal or blanket from your childhood that you've kept?