Wednesday, December 19, 2012

A Day For Crying

I turn my head away, tears falling from my face.

I gather myself and stare down in my arms to my sleeping baby.

I don't want her to see me cry.

I don't want her to feel mommy's sadness.

I wipe away my tears and try to smile.

She is so beautiful.

Her innocence makes me smile.

I am so thankful that I am able to hold, touch and breathe her.

As she slowly begins to wake, I quickly dry my eyes.

I turn her around so she's facing me and give her a big hug.

I start to cry again.

"I love you", I say to her.  There is no doubt about that.

I know that if she could speak, she would tell me that she loved me back.

Oh how I cannot wait to hear those words from her tiny mouth.

Her hugs, kisses and smiles shows me that she loves me.

I set her down to walk and head for the kitchen.

My sleeve is soaked in salty tears.

My eyes are sore and bloodshot.

I listen for her in the living room.

She is just smiling and gabbing away.

I start to think.

I start to cry again.

I wish that life didn't have to be so hard and sometimes painful.

I hate that selfish, foolish acts take place every day on this earth.

I hate that my daughter is placed in a world that's so cold, but in a home that's so warm.

I hate that young, innocent lives were taken and just days before Christmas.

I hate the thought of those parents not being able to tuck their babies in at night.

I hate that I'm crying.

I remind myself that I am human with a big heart and it's okay to cry and empathize.

I head back toward the living area.

I scoop her up and step toward the hallway.

There we meet her daddy.

We join each other and embrace a long and needed hug.

Just us three.

Perfection.

My physical world is in my arms for that tender loving moment.

On days when I feel like I am crumbling, my family holds me together.

My flowing tears are shed for those poor people whose lives were cut short.

My dried tears remind me that I am so lucky to have my family here with me.


My thoughts and prayers go to the families who were affected by the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting last week.







*Images from Google Images

6 comments:

  1. Well said Cassie. I can't stop crying - every time I read anything about Newtown.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The entire nation is mourning for Newtown. This is beautifully expressed from your heart. Squeeze your little love and big love as much as you can!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank You, Sandra. I sure do, every day.

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